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married man. And to make matters even worse, he wasn’t just married, his wife was four months pregnant! But Rhea wasn’t troubled. She didn’t think she was doing anything wrong—it was Avinash, she argued, who made the choice to cheat, not her. She wasn’t emotionally connected to him—just attracted to him and all she wanted to do was sleep with him. I was dumbfounded. There were so many other guys out there she could see—why did it have to be a guy who was married and about to be a dad? She was being immature and irresponsible, and kind of a d*ck. But she thought it was prudish of me to be so angry at her. Luckily, the affair only lasted a few weeks. As far as I know, no-one at her office ever found out.” The PARtNeR “We’d only recently had our two-year anniversary when I found out Kabir* was cheating on me. I was 23 and he was 29. Things were going well, albeit we hadn’t been spending as much time with each other as we normally would, since Kabir had recently gone back to uni to study business. I was still living at home with my parents, while Kabir lived with his brother in the next city, which meant we’d see each other most nights. I was happy for him. He’d always talked about how he’d like to study further. Although it felt like we saw each other less, I’d never seen him so excited. My cousin happened to have a friend called Keerti* doing the same course. She used to be a childhood friend of mine but I hadn’t seen her in years. She’d never met Kabir, but had seen photos of him on my Facebook and had recognised him at one of her lectures. I learnt all this one day when my cousin insisted I go for a walk with 5 signs he’s cheating By relationship expert and sexologist Nikki Goldstein 1. he’s acting all weird Whether that’s by overcompensating because he might feel guilty about cheating on you, or being really withdrawn. If he seems like he’s disconnected and uses excuses like, ‘I’m just tired’, or ‘I’ve just had a big day’, it might be because he is putting his energy into emotions or intimacy with someone else. 2. Not being shady with his phone Thanks to apps like CoverMe, if he’s cheating, you’re not going to find anything in his phone—it hides texts and calls from certain contacts. So, if he uses his phone to prove he’s not cheating, be very wary. 3. Being shady with his phone The phone thing her. She told me how Keerti was in Kabir’s class and she didn’t want to be a gossip, but had noticed that Kabir was ‘weirdly close’ with one of the girls. But it got worse: she’d also seen him kiss the same girl at one of the uni ‘booze cruises’—and leave with her that night. I was shocked. Kabir and I hadn’t been as close as normal, but I’d put that down to his busy schedule. I called him to ask him if he’d been cheating on me. Of course, he denied it, so I insisted we meet up to talk about it. He told me to come over to FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT cOSMO.In works both ways. If he doesn’t have a sh*tty cheating app, he’ll probably be quite secretive with his phone. He’ll always have it on silent, or face- down when he’s with you. 4. You’re not having sex And there’s the point about little intimacy. An obvious one, but if he’s withdrawn from sex, it could be an indication he’s getting it somewhere else. 5. he accuses you of ‘over- analysing’ Finally, sometimes we just need to trust our gut instinct. If you’ve tried raising your concerns with him and he jumps to the defence, it might be because he’s trying to conceal something from you by making you feel like you’ve gone crazy. You’re not. Follow your gut. his house. When he opened the front door he looked so guilty. He led me to his room while I remained quiet. He said he’d met a girl at uni and he never meant for it to go so far, but they’d been sleeping together for three weeks. He said it was just sexual. I knew it was over the moment he admitted to sleeping with her, and ended it right then and there. When the person you’re closest to does something like that, it’s as if someone’s ripped out your heart. Nothing can make you feel better.” n jAnuARy 2017 COSMOPOLITAN 83