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you, you, you Jealous? use It You may never be psyched about your friend’s all-expenses-paid trip to Bali, but envy can still be a powerful motivator. she has that you want. Whatever it is, take the first steps toward feeling better by writing down a bullet-point list of what you covet. MAKE GOALS... 88 COSMOPOLITAN january 2017 provide valuable information about yourself,” says Zelana Montminy, author of 21 Days To Resilience. It might even give you a clear sense of what you want in life. So next time P-Girl posts a zero-body-fat bikini pic, consult these pointers. STAY ON TRACK... ...Because we all get discouraged when it comes to making changes. But it’s important to keep focused. “Remember that satisfying a yearning doesn’t require big leaps or drastic changes,” says Wright. “Sometimes it’s more helpful to do small things regularly and keep progressing.” And in the meantime, if you see you- know-who showcasing her baller life, take a breath and remind yourself that soon you’re gonna have the n life you want too. LOOK INSIDE... ...Because what you’re feeling is not about her. It’s about you. “These sorts of negative emotions are often triggered by someone else having something we value but don’t have ourselves,” says relationship expert Judith Wright. So use those icky feelings as a wake-up call to clue you in to what’s missing in your world. Dig deep and determine what I f you’re like the rest of us (i.e., human), this scenario might sound a teeny bit familiar: you’re flipping through Snapchat when you land on Perfect Girl’s Story. There she is, with her shampoo- commercial hair, in her perfect apartment with her Ryan Gosling-look-alike boyfriend...or whatever the irritating details of her annoyingly ideal life happen to be. You should feel happy for her, right? But the truth is, you can’t help seething (and possibly firing off a b*tchy text about her to your friends too). Definitely not the healthiest reaction, but hey, we’ve all been there. Your salvation: there are productive ways to deal when the green-eyed monster rears its head. “Feeling jealous can ...Because once you’ve zeroed in on your desires, you have to make them a reality. “Instead of allowing other people’s success to drag us down, it’s smarter to use it as inspiration,” suggests Wright. “Ask yourself, ‘What could I do to be in her position?’” If it’s that apartment, look at your budget and figure out what you’d need to afford such a dreamy place. It might mean cutting back on needless expenses, like those overpriced cocktails on girls’ night out, or finding a lucrative side hustle to make extra bank, or simply giving your current place some love. If it’s a relationship like hers you’re after, plan to put yourself on a path to meeting quality men. Whether it’s road-testing dating apps, socialising at different spots, or saying ‘Yes’ to more dates, every action you take brings you closer to your goal.